Let’s Talk About Emotional Intelligence

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Ayinla Daniel Avatar

(Editor & Founder)

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Emotional intelligence is the “ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour”

Salovey and Mayer

The topic of emotional intelligence is vast and complex. One post will not do justice to it.

In this post, we’ll explore the fundamental principles of emotional intelligence.

I will also include resources where you can learn more about emotional intelligence.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

I first learned about emotional intelligence when I started reading about it. It was then that I realised that I was exhibiting a bit of it.

From then onward, I began to be even more intentional about building emotional intelligence into how I managed my emotions and those of people around me.

What Is Emotion?

Emotion is our natural reaction or response to things around or within us.

Emotion is normal.

It’s not odd or unnatural to express emotions. The only problem is when we can’t control our emotions.

Emotions are so vital to our existence that without them, we will never be able to enjoy and understand the colour of life.

Emotions give colour to life.

It gives expression and structure to life.

Imagine a world without love, joy, happiness, and gratitude, and even without the negative emotions—anger, sadness, doubt, and grief.

We make decisions based on our emotions. We also choose activities, hobbies, and even relationships based on the emotions they evoke.

Understanding how to control and manage your emotions will go a long way in helping you improve your life as a normal person and a leader.

Recognising your ability to manage emotions—anger, doubt, grief, and joy—empowers you to make informed decisions and take decisive actions.

We won’t go deep into the psychology of emotions. We don’t want to get all “Sigmund Freudish” this morning.

“Emotional Intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and relationships. It involves being aware of emotions in oneself and others and using this awareness to guide thinking and behaviour. Emotionally intelligent individuals can motivate themselves, read social cues, and build strong relationships.”

The Energy Of Emotion

Emotional intelligence is the ability to control the energy of emotions.

Emotional energy is one of the most potent psychological energies people can control towards the right and wrong directions.

Most of the wrong decisions we make in life are because we didn’t apply the principles of emotional intelligence.

You’ll realise that when you begin to apply the principles of emotional intelligence to your life as a person and as a leader, bad decisions tend to reduce significantly.  

Emotional Intelligence Can Be Learned

Some schools of thought argue that emotional intelligence is inbuilt (nature), while others postulate that it can be learned and mastered (nurture).

I think that emotional intelligence can be learned.

It may take some time, but with enough dedication, one can come to the point where they understand and control their emotions and advance to the level where they can understand the emotions of others and, in certain circumstances, even control them (manipulation).

Imagine if you didn’t know when your friend, brother or colleague at work was sad, unhappy or angry. You wouldn’t know how to respond to them correctly.

With emotional intelligence, you can read their emotions and respond appropriately—support and encourage them.

Or if they were happy or excited, you could join them in their excitement.

The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence

People with higher emotional intelligence are better at handling life’s problems.

They know how to handle the stress of everyday challenges and obstacles.

Emotionally intelligent people are more socially intelligent and aware because they can interact better with people around them.

Emotions are the way human beings interact in the social world. To successfully interact with other people, you must express a high level of understanding of their emotions.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just useful to help you manage your emotions; it’s also a vital tool that will help you build better relationships with people around you—family, friends, co-workers, and if you are a leader, the people you lead.

  • Emotional intelligence is essential when handling stressful situations.
  • Emotional intelligence helps connect with one’s inner feelings, translate purpose into action, and make informed decisions about what truly matters.
  • Emotional intelligence enables stronger relationships, career success, and personal goal achievement. It also helps reduce group stress, resolve conflicts, and improve job satisfaction.

In business, leadership, and entrepreneurship, emotional intelligence is emphasised more as a compulsory trait for success, as important as cognitive intelligence .

Leaders in the modern world who want to be successful need to be emotionally intelligent.

In the next article, we will discuss the Components Of Emotional Intelligence.

This might be a long ride.

The topic of emotional intelligence is very vast and exciting and also a vital psychological topic.


I write about leadership, innovation, and entrepreneurship every Monday at Care City. Though my writings target healthcare entrepreneurs, leaders and innovators, I feel entrepreneurs and leaders, in general, can learn from them.

Catch you next week Monday.

Have a productive week ahead. Bye.


View Selected References

MSEd, K. C. (2023, June 29). Emotions and types of emotional responses. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-emotions-2795178.

Simply Psychology. (2024, January 29). Emotional intelligence (EQ): components and examples. https://www.simplypsychology.org/emotional-intelligence.html.

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Ayinla Daniel Avatar

(Editor & Founder)