Valentine’s Day isn’t just another religious celebration or cultural event. Beyond its religious and cultural connotations lies something even more profound. Something really helpful for our overall wellbeing.
Showing and accepting love is a powerful indicator of mental wellbeing. It signifies the presence of caring relationships in our lives and the reciprocation of that care, which is crucial for our overall mental health.
Mental wellbeing is sometimes a topic in healthcare we usually don’t give too much attention to because mental health troubles are not very tangible and, most times, subjective, and people don’t usually know how to speak up or seek help.
Each person expresses mental conditions very differently compared to other forms of diseases that have a specific pathology.
This variability can stem from various factors, including individual experiences, cultural backgrounds, and personal coping mechanisms.
Unlike physical illnesses that often present with observable symptoms or clear diagnostic tests, mental health conditions may manifest through emotional responses, behavioural changes, or cognitive patterns that are highly subjective.
As a result, understanding and diagnosing mental illness can be challenging, requiring a nuanced approach that considers not only the symptoms but also the context of each individual’s life.
And in the overall management of mental illness, relationships play a very crucial role in helping people cope.
Research has revealed that showing or receiving affection or love has plenty of benefits for mental health, and studies have even indicated that having the right relationships around us benefits cardiovascular health more than mental health, underscoring the importance of having a solid network of authentic, warm working relationships around us.
Valentine’s Day should go beyond romance and the love that exists between lovers.
It should be more about us evaluating our relationships and understanding how healthy we are relationship-wise.
How many people do you think about during this Valentine’s Day?
How many of them will you reach out to, call, send gifts and special messages? People you really and deeply care about.
On the other hand, how many people will reach out to you, send you messages and gifts and show you love?
We must be very sincere with ourselves. If you look around you and discover that there’s nobody you want to show love to, then there’s a big problem.
Or if you discover that no one around you wants to show you genuine love.
Science and research have repeatedly proven that having healthy relationships is a strong indicator of overall wellbeing and affects how healthy we are and even how long we live.
People with a robust relationship network live better and more balanced lives. Their recovery from illnesses is faster compared to those who don’t have strong natural and organic relationships.
Building healthy relationships requires intentional effort, and Valentine’s Day provides a perfect opportunity to evaluate and strengthen these bonds in our lives.
This Valentine’s, take deliberate and conscious steps to repair old relationships suffering from neglect.
Those relationships that were once meaningful to you but have become sour because of life challenges, distance or even discord. Reach out and repair them this Valentine.
Forgive those who have hurt you and accept forgiveness from those seeking it from you.
You need to look at it as taking meaningful steps towards becoming a better person and doing all you can to stay mentally healthy.
Wellbeing And Wellness Run Deeper Than The Surface
Expensive memberships, custom therapy sessions, and pricey supplement pills are just the tip of the iceberg when we talk about wellbeing and wellness.
Genuine wellbeing is from very deep within. It’s all about how we view ourselves, how happy we are with ourselves, and how happy we are with the people around us. Those we call family and friends.
Although it may be necessary at times to have access to the many wellness products, people often still lack the essential quality of healthy relationships that can offer true comfort during difficult moments.
Learn To Give
“It’s better to give than to receive. Even science supports it.”
One of the definite acts of love is giving. And in giving, it’s the action that’s by far more important than the gift.
The gift might be worth a lot or just be simple and cheap. It’s the gesture and the intention behind that giving that matters.
A gift doesn’t have to be physical. You can write a thank you message expressing your gratitude for that relationship (but get a gift if possible).
This Valentine’s, embrace the joy of giving. Go out of your way to give something to people who mean a lot to you.
People you care about and who are important to you. And remember, be open to receiving from people.
Don’t shut yourself in.
Let the joy of giving and receiving love fill your heart this Valentine’s Day.
And be open to receiving from people. Don’t shut yourself in.
Be Open To Receive
Most people have shut themselves off from receiving love because of past trauma, bad past experiences and disappointments.
It’s normal to react to pain and disappointment, but it’s unhealthy to remain there. It’s a bad place to pitch your tent.
Embracing the journey of moving forward signifies that you are a resilient individual actively welcoming the process of healing and personal growth.
It reflects a commitment to rise above challenges and transform past experiences into stepping stones for a brighter future.
Conversely, choosing to remain stagnant may reveal the deep struggle you face in overcoming emotional wounds.
It can signal a reluctance to confront the pain, highlighting the difficulty in navigating the path toward recovery and emotional restoration, and if you stay too long in that posture, you might be actually hurting your mental health.
Self-care Is Not Being Selfish
We take care of ourselves because we want to live optimal lives. Self-care is recognising how important you are as a person.
It’s about making healthy decisions meant to keep your mind sound and your body working fine, not just for you but those around you: your loved ones, your family, friends and even your colleagues.
Approaching self-care from a selfish perspective will not allow us to appreciate its length, depth, and breadth. It’s not just about us but the people around us and our community.
By taking care of ourselves, we contribute to our immediate community’s greater good.
We are disciplined to eat right, exercise more, and make healthy choices because the healthier we are, the happier we are and those around us.
Our self-care is not just about us but also about the people in our community who need us to be healthy and contribute to the community. When the people you love see you healthy and happy, it just makes them happy, too.
“Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
Eleanor Brown
How To Give Love This Valentine
Here are some practical ways we can give this Valentine. And I am not even going to start with giving gifts.
- Be Available: Yes. Be available. I stopped saying I was busy. Why? Because I came to the sensible realisation that we all have time for the things that deeply and genuinely matter to us. You are not busy. You are just giving your time to the things that matter to you. This Valentine, be available. If a friend or family member calls you, don’t let the call pass and say you’re busy. Create time for them, even if it’s 10 or 20 minutes.
- Reach Out: Spread your idle wings and fly. Visit that old friend, or make a random call to your old friend or a close family member. Don’t be shy or tell yourself you have nothing to say. We all have something to say. Tell them you wanted to hear their voice and say hi, and you’d be surprised at how much you both will have to talk about.
- Send Someone A Gift: It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift. As I mentioned earlier, it’s not the size of the gift but the intention and the spirit behind it. The digital world has made it super easy for us to send gifts. Send someone a digital card or a gift card. If your friends live close to you, get a small gift from a shop nearby and give it to them. Please do it.
- Volunteer: Give your time for free to a cause you believe in. Help clean the community or go to a care home to help people there. It’s all about giving and showing love.
It shouldn’t just be on Valentine’s Day. It’s not about one Day but about making it a lifestyle of love and sharing.
Even after Valentine’s Day, strive to make it a habit. It’s an investment that will pay you forever. But it takes effort and sometimes going out of your comfort zone to do the right thing.
An Antidote To Loneliness And Depression
“Research reveals that spending time with loved ones can lower blood pressure and stress hormones, reduce inflammation, improve sleep, and enhance pain management.”
The world has changed and will keep on changing. Physical-social interaction is gradually dying, giving way to digital interactions that do not and will never have the same effects as physical-social interactions. The more technology advances and tries to replace physical interaction, the worse it becomes.
Nothing can replace genuine, warm physical interactions, and this here is one of the reasons why loneliness and depression are becoming rampant in our societies.
Most people find themselves getting deeper and deeper into the digital ocean, carried away by the waves of new social media products struggling for their attention.
Loneliness is so bad that US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared it an epidemic in 2023.
A lot of people suffering from loneliness are where they are because they don’t have deep relationships that provide them comfort.
With the way our society is going, we may have more lonely people in the future because technology keeps trying desperately to replace human interactions.
We can protect our mental health from loneliness by investing in the right relationships, and in doing so, we must know we are not just doing it for today but for tomorrow, for our future.
You Can Build It
Some people may be naturally affectionate and easy, happy-going, while there are people who are naturally indoors.
Science has even shown that we inherit the ability to be affectionate from our parents; it could be a genetic trait; on the other hand, our experiences and environment can also contribute to and influence our degree of affection.
However, if you are deliberate enough, you can build the habit of being affectionate even if it doesn’t come naturally, or certain life experiences have made it difficult for you to be affectionate.
It’s all about understanding its importance, what it does to you as a person, and how it affects those around you.
You can work towards becoming a more affectionate person who is ready to give love and is open to receiving it.
Let this Valentine serve as a turning point for you.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
