Mama Nkechi sat quietly on the veranda of her bungalow in Enugu, Nigeria.
Her wrapper was tied tightly around her waist, and her chin was resting on her palm.
The street was alive with movement, hawkers calling out their wares, children playing football with makeshift balls, and the distant hum of a generator.
But inside her compound, it was as though time had stopped. Her husband had passed years ago, many of her childhood friends had either moved away or passed on, and the children were grown and now building their own lives.
One lived in Abuja, two in the UK, and the last born struggling to find work in Lagos.
Memories of how her compound was once filled with life flooded in. A large extended family, neighbours dropping by uninvited, laughter from the kitchen, the aroma of egusi soup on Sundays.
But now, it was just her and the silence. What hurt most was not the quiet of her compound. It was the silence of her phone. Days would pass with no calls and no visits.
She often found herself talking to the radio just to hear a voice talk back.
She didn’t lack food.
She had her pension, and her children did their best to contribute their share of her monthly expenses.
Tears dropped as she ruminated on what she now lacked: conversation, companionship, connection.
Loneliness had crept in silently despite the noise of her surroundings.
Her story is not uncommon.
Loneliness is silently becoming a global pandemic.
With more people moving to cities, longer working hours, and the pressure of modern life, connections are becoming increasingly strained.
And even in a culture known for community spirit and family ties, many, especially older people, are being left behind.
We may live in crowded places, yet many feel emotionally isolated.
According to WHO, social isolation and loneliness are widespread, with an estimated 1 in 4 older people experiencing social isolation and between 5 and 15 per cent of adolescents experiencing loneliness.
As we observe Loneliness Awareness Week under the theme “Meeting Loneliness Together,” this is our chance to revive the spirit of togetherness.
To knock on a neighbour’s gate.
To call an old uncle.
To remind each other that even in this fast-paced world, we are not alone.
Meeting Loneliness Together: Loneliness Awareness Week
What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness is a distressing feeling of being isolated or disconnected from others, even when surrounded by people.
It’s the feeling of a void which arises when our need for social connection is not met.
You can be in a room full of people and still feel alone if you don’t feel seen or heard.
It is emotional disconnection, not just physical solitude.
Loneliness might look like a student who just moved away from home, feeling out of place in a noisy lodge.
It might be a widower whose children have left for Europe.
The banker working 14-hour shifts with no time for a social life.
Or a market woman who now sits alone because her friends no longer come around.
It wears many faces and hides behind smiles, Sunday clothes, and WhatsApp statuses.
Different Shades of Loneliness
- Transient Loneliness: Fleeting and temporary, like missing home after moving.
- Situational Loneliness: Triggered by life events, like job loss or breakups.
- Chronic Loneliness: Long-term and deeply ingrained, often leading to mental and physical health issues.
Signs Of Loneliness
Emotional Signs
- Feeling empty or sad: Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness without a clear cause.
- Lack of meaning or purpose: Feeling disconnected from life or that your presence doesn’t matter to others.
- Low self-esteem: Feeling unworthy of love or attention.
Behavioural Signs
- Social withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions, declining invitations, or spending excessive time alone.
- Overuse of social media: Relying on online platforms for connection but still feeling unfulfilled or more isolated.
- Seeking constant distraction: Filling time with TV, video games, or other activities to avoid feelings of loneliness.
- Talking about loneliness: Frequently expressing feelings of being alone, unloved, or misunderstood.
Physical Signs
- Fatigue or low energy: Chronic tiredness not caused by physical exertion.
- Changes in sleep patterns: Difficulty sleeping, oversleeping, or disturbed sleep.
- Appetite changes: Eating much more or much less than usual.
Cognitive Signs
- Negative thinking: Increased focus on negative thoughts or assuming others are avoiding you.
- Difficulty concentrating: Trouble focusing or making decisions.
- Increased anxiety or Depression: Feeling constantly anxious or showing signs of depressive disorders.
Relational Signs
- Feeling unconnected in relationships: Even when surrounded by people, feeling emotionally disconnected.
- Lack of close friends: Having few or no meaningful relationships.
- Feeling left out: Believing that others are enjoying life while you’re being excluded.
Can Social Media Help Curb Loneliness In the Elderly?
Loneliness In The Modern World
The Social Media Paradox
Ever scrolled through highlight reels of friends’ lives and felt worse about your own?
You’re not alone. Social media promises connection but often delivers the opposite.
While it allows us to stay in touch, share moments, and feel part of a larger community, it can also magnify feelings of loneliness, exclusion, and self-doubt.
We compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s best moments—vacations, celebrations, perfect selfies—curated and filtered for public approval.
This constant exposure to idealised lives can distort our self-perception, fuel anxiety, and create a false sense of being left out.
In trying to feel closer to others, we may end up feeling more isolated than ever.
Remote Work And Disconnection
Working from home undoubtedly saves time and energy that would otherwise be spent on long commutes, offering convenience and flexibility.
However, it can also blur the boundaries between personal and professional life, quietly turning our homes into cubicles of isolation.
The absence of casual hallway conversations, spontaneous team lunches, or lighthearted water cooler chats can leave many people feeling disconnected.
While Zoom calls and instant messages keep the workflow going, they often lack the warmth, nuance, and human connection that face-to-face interactions provide.
Over time, this digital-only interaction can contribute to a sense of loneliness and emotional fatigue, especially for those who thrive on social engagement in the workplace.
Urban Hustle vs. Rural Quiet
Crowded cities can feel isolating.
Everyone is busy, heads down, earbuds in.
Rural areas may lack access to community resources.
Loneliness doesn’t discriminate by geography.
Meeting Loneliness Together
Loneliness is a collective challenge that affects individuals, families, and communities alike.
The power of connection lies in simple acts: one person reaching out with kindness can truly change another’s world.
When we come together, we form a network of support that fosters empathy, understanding, and a sense of belonging.
The theme of “Together” reminds us that overcoming loneliness requires more than just individual effort; it calls for a shared commitment to build inclusive communities where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
Community-Based Solutions
Social connection is rooted in everyday gatherings and shared traditions. Think of informal coffee mornings under the shade of a baobab tree, craft circles where skills and stories are passed down, or morning walks and runs through local parks or village squares. Initiatives similar to “The Chatty Café Scheme,” where tables are paired to encourage friendly conversation, could be adapted to markets, community centres, or open-air cafés.
Local churches, mosques, and community halls often serve as hubs for free social events, from music and dance to storytelling and communal meals.
These grassroots activities help bring people together, strengthen social bonds, and combat loneliness by creating spaces where everyone feels welcome and connected.
Digital Solutions To Combat Loneliness
Online mental health forums provide safe spaces where people can share their experiences, seek advice, and find support from others who understand what they’re going through.
Hobby-based communities bring together individuals with shared interests, from cooking and gardening to music and sports, helping to build friendships across distances.
Apps like Papa, for example, connect older adults with younger “pals” who offer regular conversation and companionship, bridging generational gaps and reducing feelings of loneliness.
Practical Strategies for overcoming loneliness
- Build Your Circle: One deep conversation beats fifty surface-level chats.
- Be Intentional: Schedule regular calls. Write letters. Make it a habit.
- Get Outside: Nature has a quiet way of making us feel connected.
- Help Others: Volunteering shifts the focus outward and fosters a sense of purpose.
Preventing Loneliness In Older Adults
Older adults often face shrinking social circles due to retirement, mobility issues, or loss of loved ones.
Solutions include:
- Intergenerational Programs: Schools and senior centres pairing kids with elders.
- Tech Training: Teaching older adults to use video calls and social apps.
- Regular Check-Ins: Community phone trees or wellness calls from volunteers.
Policy And Societal Roles
Governments can play a part. The UK’s appointment of a Minister for Loneliness is an example of this.
Urban planning that includes communal spaces, mental health funding, and inclusive advertising all matter.
Our action plan for you:
- Text an old friend.
- Join a club, even if it’s online.
- Start small talk in safe spaces, such as cafés, libraries, and events.
- Volunteer once a week.
- Share food with that lonely neighbour.
- Check on that older person who always sits alone.
- Normalise loneliness in conversations. Let others know it’s okay to talk about it.
Let’s bring back our Ubuntu—”I am because we are.”
Conclusion
Loneliness Awareness Week reminds us that isolation is not just a shared challenge but also a shared opportunity.
Mama Nkechi’s world eventually brightened again. A young woman from a local church fellowship, Chioma, had come to check on her.
“We dey visit all our elders this week, Mama. Make I help you sweep small?”
That simple visit turned into weekly chats, hearty laughter, and even cooking lessons.
By choosing connection, initiating conversation, and fostering inclusion, we can chip away at the silence.
If you’re someone feeling lonely or someone who knows someone who is, your actions matter.
Let’s meet loneliness together.
FAQs
How can I help an older relative who feels lonely?
- Start with regular calls or visits. Help them get involved in community groups or teach them how to use video chats.
Are online friendships as valuable as in-person ones?
- Yes. While physical presence adds warmth, meaningful connections can happen virtually too.
What signs indicate someone is struggling with loneliness?
- Withdrawal, changes in mood or appetite, and avoiding social events are key indicators.
How do I overcome the fear of reaching out?
- Start small. A simple “Hey, how have you been?” can open a door. Remember, others crave connection too.
Can volunteering really reduce loneliness?
- Absolutely. Helping others fosters community, creates purpose, and leads to new friendships.
