The world’s longest study of happiness lasted about 85 years!
If I had been born when it started, I would be rounding up my time on earth by now! LOL!
Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, is the recent director of the study, which has had four directors since it started in the 1930s!
The study examined the lives of 724 men since they were teenagers in 1938.
About 60 men are still left, all in their 90s.
The group was made up of men from various economic and social backgrounds.
The study’s foundational revelation is that our relationships in life strongly affect our overall health and well-being.
“The researchers also found that marital satisfaction has a protective effect on people’s mental health. Part of a study found that people who had happy marriages in their 80s reported that their moods didn’t suffer even on the days when they had more physical pain. Those who had unhappy marriages felt both more emotional and physical pain.”
Friends, that’s amazing. Really.
Most people feel relationships don’t mean anything.
We are careless about how we treat people and are not deliberate about investing in relationships.
That study discovered that the ultimate source of long-lasting happiness emanates from the solid network of relationships we’ve built over time.
Even better than your social class, IQ, the money you make and your genes, healthy relationships have stronger effects on our lives, help us fight depression, preserve our mental health and slow down physical decline.
“Several studies found that people’s level of satisfaction with their relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of physical health than their cholesterol levels were.”
Life is moving fast.
Very fast.
It’s not waiting for you; you shouldn’t wait for it.
It’s easy to get caught up in this stampede called life.
We can find ourselves lost in an endless circle of trying to live, and we unconsciously forget how to live. We also lose touch with friends, colleagues, and even people close to us.
Investing in relationships is a deliberate effort that will take sacrifice—good sacrifice.
We need to make deliberate efforts to carve out time from our busy schedules to call a friend or attend a community hangout—not just occasionally, but making it a habit and something we deeply enjoy doing.
“When the study began, nobody cared about empathy or attachment,” said Vaillant. “But the key to healthy ageing is relationships, relationships, relationships.”
Loneliness Is As Deadly As Smoking Cigarettes Or Abusing Alcohol
Research has proven to us that people who live lonely lives don’t get to live long.
Loneliness is like a silent disease that slowly destroys people, and the major reason why is that people don’t know how to reach out for help most of the time, so they remain in the shadows, nursing their loneliness until one day, it just takes them away.
We must fight loneliness the same way we fight other chronic diseases.
Many people are fighting different forms of loneliness. We need to shine more light on the shadow of loneliness so more people can know how not to get lonely and, if they are already trapped in it, how to get out of it.
This is why people need to pay more attention to building stronger relationships, especially when they are young and have the energy to do so.
When we get older, we may not have the strength to start pursuing relationships.
That’s why it’s called an investment: we put in it today to enjoy it tomorrow.
Learn To Know When To Let Go
“Personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters, while isolation is a mood buster.”
When I was a very young boy, I used to have a nasty habit.
I knew how to hold on to things, especially people that hurt me.
It took me a lot of growing up and maturing to learn how to let go.
As we age, we realise that holding onto past hurt and trouble does us no good.
And the art of learning how to let go is one path to discovering the road to true happiness.
What kind of burden are you still carrying in your heart?
Let it go.
There’s so much our minds can carry as we get older, and packing it up with junk won’t help us one bit.
Let it all go. You’ll feel lighter for the long journey ahead.
Pay attention to the now, and don’t allow the past, especially the ugly and hurtful past, to prevent you from enjoying the moment.
Happiness Is A Choice You Can Make
We might not have the power to pick our birthplace, hair colour, height, or genotype, but we do have the power to choose happiness.
It’s a choice only you can make for yourself.
Nobody is going to make it for you.
As a young person, you have the power to choose happiness tomorrow by investing in relationships today.
Read that statement again. This time. Slowly…
You can get lost in the activities of today.
Trying to make more money.
Trying to climb up the corporate ladder.
Doing all these things…And forgetting what’s truly important.
A time will come when all the things you may have gathered won’t be there to keep you warm.
So, as you pursue the good things in life, also create time to pursue the better and the best.
The better and best things stay longer with you.
How Should I Invest In Relationships?
“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” – Anais Nin.
Here are four personal tips you can use to invest in relationships.
Start Close
Start with your family.
Your family is naturally the closest to you.
Start with them.
Call your brothers and sisters and organise a get-together.
Make it routine, maybe once a month. If you can’t get together physically, try to do so virtually.
Just ensure that you’re communicating regularly with them.
Building relationships is primarily about healthy, deliberate and constant communication.
Reach out to that old aunty, uncle or cousin.
Here in Africa, we seldom call aunties, uncles, or cousins; the only time we may call them is when we want their favours.
It shouldn’t be so.
Create relationships with your family because you love them and really care about them.
It shouldn’t be transactional.
The wisdom is that you want to invest in relationships that will nurture your life today and keep you warm tomorrow.
Look For That Old Friend
Some people are privileged to have their childhood friends still around.
At the same time, they are people who’ve forgotten all about their childhood friends.
If you’re the latter, and you have decided to start investing in relationships, then you can begin to look for your old friends who formed a big part of your childhood or when you were a teenager.
Going back to these old connections has a way of refreshing our hearts and making us happier.
Thank God we’re in the digital age, and communication is easier and faster.
Send them an email, text or a message on Twitter or Facebook.
You’ll definitely find your old friends on Facebook.
Build New Relationships
There are wonderful people around you, and you never can tell who will become your next best friend.
Be open and careful, too. There are always opportunities to meet new people and make new friends.
Your neighbours, colleagues at work, and people you meet at the market can become friends who can grow to become part of your life.
Create A Relationship-building Plan
Your plan should contain strategies for reaching out to family members and old friends and meeting new people.
You can decide to call that old uncle of yours once every month to find out how they are doing or just wish them a happy new month.
You can text your friends every week and, if you’re lucky enough, organise monthly or yearly hangouts.
To meet new people, you can decide to attend community functions or a religious gathering, such as your local church. There are many people out there with whom you can meet and form genuine relationships.
In Conclusion
In conclusion, the Harvard study of happiness highlights the paramount importance of nurturing solid relationships for long-lasting well-being.
It reminds us to invest in meaningful connections and let go of past burdens to embrace happiness.
Ultimately, we have the power to choose happiness through our actions and investments in relationships, setting the stage for a fulfilling life.
What changes are you going to make now?
